Stream of Consciousness @: http://streamofconsciousnes.tripod.com/vol8.html

Vol. 8

GLDN74: I finally got what I wanted, I have it all, but at the same time I have nothing. It all belongs to the system. It all exists in a virtual world. I take refuge in the 32 inch box, standing majestic in a scene from the hideous IKEA nightmare that I've allowed to run riot. Football highlights...*click*...Bollywood movies...*click*...Bored housewives...*click*....Crappy Sci-fi...*click*...American comedy shows that just aren't funny...*click*...Semi Naked girls...*click*Fat Americans with no sense of irony fighting a guy called Jerry...*click*...Stuffy eurocrats who will persuade me that I'm just another euro-slave...*click*...Stripping Philipino girls on granada's so called blokes channel...*click*. Can somebody explain why I allow this garbage into my living room? The system plays me better than I thought. If only I had a brain...we're not in Kansas anymore. This is England, this is my personal hell.

Opportunity kicked my door down, but I was too busy to answer the call, mistakes have been made, others will be blamed. As my soul lies here, bleeding from the bullet holes of reality, I ask myself, "How the hell did you let it get this far?" Who gave me the authority to carry out my actions? But are they more like acts of war? We allow India to defend itself, but at what cost? Buy your weapons from us, then we'll think about it. And I, being powerless, pocket my 30 pieces of silver and walk away. Out of sight, out of mind, in the bank. (01.21.02)

Can I get a witness???
I said...can I get a motherfucking witness???
Oh come all ye' mills' fans...
Oh joyful and triumphant!
Gather around, while I blow my fucking trumpet...
They think that 24 hour party people happened over ten years ago.
Well, I say it's still going on now, Sony tried to stop the party.
They got what was coming to them,
All we need is a chance to keep the party going, but with all the red tape, the lies, the dangling carrots infront of the all-too-willing horses, you have to ask yourself "Is history about to repeat itself?"

Jeremy: wake up and see
the devils playing his game on you
he labeled us as fools
but stand up and use GODS tools
to fix you, he loves you
and nothing can stop you
the devils gonna loose this game
and I'm not afraid of a little pain
the gain a gift for you and me
we'll all soon see

GLDN74: We all perceive consciousness differently, from the monarch to the monk, we all contribute to the sub atomic instruction, the un-written rules, the building blocks of humanity. My consciousness is only real to me, if I turn my head, I no longer see the shadows behind me, but are they still there? Will they be there if I turn my head quick enough?

In my world, I am both the King and the fool, strung out by the gods, here to alter history. Did I do my job? Did I become the avatar for all people? Did I answer my critics?

And you..as you read this, you ask yourself 'why'?
You ask who sent me.
You ask 'what next'?
I have the answers, I just don't know it yet.

Climb so high, yet so far to fall,
A plan of dignity and balance for all,
Record label breakthrough, euphoria's high,
More borrowed money, more borrowed time.
This charming man, this 90's icon,
This fallen angel, this ego trip.
Climb the ladder and rub shoulders with the giants,
Stand face to face with me while you're on the stage and as ever, we'll catch you if you fall.
The guys in the office wanted to know what you were like and I gave them two words...
"Reassuringly Normal"

140bhp six inches from the back of my head
The morning sun reflects off the road infront
I can see the sky, I can touch it.
I can feel the wind around the back of my neck
I can feel the glare of jealousy
I'm one of those weird people who goes to work with a grin on their face.
MGF is all you need.

Sun of Surya: -The Flower From Heaven-
(S. Beauchamp 2002 (c))

I saw a flower fall from Heaven
'came from a world that's fond of truth
A lotus in Her hair
And in Her eyes shine what's pure

in Her eyes shine what's pure

I saw a flower fall from Heaven
Her lips are red as Bimba fruits
Pearls rest on Her breasts
As she slowly twirls for Krsna's flute

Yeah she twirls for Krsna's flute

I saw a flower fall from Heaven
Her locks of hair curl beautifully
Kajjala 'round Her eyes
But Her sweetness crushes vanity

Yeah She crushes all vanity

I saw a flower fall from Heaven
Her lotus feet are painted red
Her limbs are smeared with camphor
As shines the diamond on Her head

As it shines on Her head

-The Morning Rises-
(S. Beauchamp 2002 (c))

Oh the morning rises
To chase away Montreal's lights
And now the swan's song left you breathless
To choke away upon your tears

For while the candle lights the ballroom
And you're still praying for more time
You see the light break through the window
The candle's put out by the wine

Oh the soothing whispers
That softly made it to your ears
Could they raise in you the laughters?
Did they chase away the fears?

-One Last Time-
(S. Beauchamp 2002 (c))

Could you take your eyes away
From the rain that falls upon
Your face
Just to watch her walk away
To board the plane that broke your heart
Again

Should you take her hand in yours
And hold her one last time and pray
She stays
Or should you wipe the tears away
And let her run after fate
Again

Can you make it out alive?
Can you make it through the day?
Could you ever love again?

As you remember all the songs
She used to sing around your place
You face
To catch a last wave from her hand
Before she steals herself away
Again

Can you make it out alive?
Can you make it through tha rain?
Could you ever love again?
Can you make it through the day?
Could you ever love again?

[ 17 April 2002, 07:47 PM: Message edited by: Sun of Surya ]

Andy (Andrew) Fox: Live your own life, because you die your own death. (09.27.02)

Unknown: I miss the way he looks at me, I miss the way he makes me feel special, I miss the way he tells me I'm special, I miss his touch, I miss the way he strokes my hair telling me it's pretty, I miss the way he tells me I'm pretty, I miss his strong arms, I miss his embrace, I miss the sense of security he gives me, I miss his stomach muscles, I miss touching his stomach muscles, I miss the way he strokes my face, I miss the way he imitates my smile, I miss the look his face gets when he looks at me longingly, I miss the way he tries to annoy me to make me come out of my shell, I miss the fact he tries over and over again, I miss his cynical remarks when I behave like an idiot, I miss the way he strokes my face, I miss the way his presence makes me go all tense, I miss the butterfly feeling his touch gives me, I miss the softness of his kiss, I miss the way he tells me everything will turn out to be just fine in the end, I miss the way he turns me on, I miss the way I turn him on! I miss his fingers, I miss the way he wonders whether it's all his fault, I miss his bed, I miss the fact that he knows everything, I miss him because he still likes me, I miss his hair, I miss his lips, I miss the fact that no matter how hard he tries he can't avoid/ignore me, I miss the way he sometimes gets all matter-of-fact-ly to annoy me, I miss his strong hands, I miss the touch of his strong hands, I miss the way he makes me smile, I miss his eyes, I miss the way he looks into my eyes, I miss the playful conversations with him, I miss the serious conversations with, I miss talking nonsense with him, I miss the fact that he sometimes just knows things, I miss the way we talk without words, I miss the way we're drawn to each other as soon as we're in the same room. I MISS HIM! (10.03.02)

Jasmine: Poem: Today and Tomorrow

So the spirit whispers, I am here today,
and tomorrow the One knows,
whether I be here in form or not,
the spirit of my heart will always linger
in this world and the many worlds afar,
always meeting, never separated.
Even worlds apart,
I will still be "alive" and here,
as I am a part of nature,
a part of life,
and a part of You,
the Divine Light.

Copyright © Jasmine K.

GLDN74: I'm torn between the contempt and ease of familiarity and the Class-A type buzz of the new beginning. Walking away will cost me everything, but I will gain the things I've always craved. I wish I could see a clearer picture, I wish someone would make it easy for me, I wish I'd walked away when I had the chance. Now, I'm in a flat spin and it's time to eject. If I go now, there may just be enough time to start over again. I don't want to be the dead man walking. (04.04.03)

afrofrazzle@hotmail.com: Red Tears

Crying at the beauty of this world, we can't contain; the heart of everone is here and nowhere; Tattva lives in us and dies outside of our heads; I am living and dying amidst the beauty and truth no-one sees but me. In this world. In our world. Give me love, give me life; let us live and love and laugh and cry and die - together, not alone. For the world is beautiful and we are ugliness. (05.24.03)

Unknown: Mary, Mary come to me again
I have given in
lost my only friend
And she said come with me
took me to the tree
And she said

baby, I'll leave you here...
swinging in the wind (05.30.03)

Unknown: Late nights, street lamps, orange glow
Cars splash past in the wet
Rhythmic and soothing, rhythmic and cold
I keep on walking in the dark to banish the feeling
I keep walking in the rain to cleanse my face
Shops, windows and reflections from the mist

Night has fallen, but the city is awake
Hidden skies and sleepless nights
Huddled in the gutter, a man sleeps
I saw you laugh and throw the coin
I saw you laugh, and leave (6.02.03)

Unknown: It's 5:02 pm when I call my only friend. I've been dancing in the rain, trying to drown. I feel like giving in, the dull ache returns again, but I keep dancing. It's 9:15 pm and here it comes again, bile and choking fit of rage, shudders through and grips me. I want to kill the frustration and stop the fight across the parkland in the middle of the still quiet glow. It's my fault entirely that you get so angry. Surely not? It's my aim mostly to forget I ever said this. Surely. (6.12.03)

Unknown: No one told me
But the sun is setting over head
Dives behind the trees
Like the sky had bled

Oh pretty baby
You turn my head
I care not for the sunrise
I care not for anything
Anymore
Anymore (10.31.03)

Jasmine: "Hari Aum Tat Sat," the waves of the sea whispered.
"You will fully emerge as 'Premavatar' in your next life.
This one life is the workings of Prema as Premavatar."
These were the words of the realized Babaji.
===
My life is as young as a newly blossomed rosebud,
and as ancient as the rivers and the waters that run.
My life etches a narrative of incarnations from time long gone,
reaching as far back in years as the eternal cyclic process of this universe,
and incarnations numbering beyond the myriad stars,
whose descriptions become the depths of the oceans--endless.(from Poem: Song of Eternal Beauty and Bliss, Copyright © Jasmine K.)

Anonymous: I've been stuck on this track
For the last four years
I've been looking behind me
And as soon as I turned my back
I walked alone
Where nobody could find me.

But now I'll turn my face to the sun
I'm not afraid, the future's there
To grasp and to be won
You've given me the strength to carry on
To carry on
To put the other world behind me.

I have hit every low
The solid bedrock
The only thing to stop me
But all of that just goes to show
I'm stronger than
Anyone had thought me

And now I'll turn my face to the sun
I'm not afraid, the future's there
To grasp and to be won
You've given me the strength to carry on
To carry on
To put the other world behind me.

To carry on, I'll walk ok
I'll move on, I'll dance on
Just smile on, it's half won
What's gone is gone
Just carry on (Tuesday, Nov. 25th 05:49:10 2003)

Anonymous: I know a man who sat on both hands
And was losing his way
I know a man who can't see what he is
And whose feeling afraid
Oh substitute desolate empty space
Do we know what he needs?
Cos he's shaking and sweating and misunderstood
His heart bleeds

But it's alright now
We'll get through somehow
And the best I can do
Is to promise to you
That I'll stand by, that I'll stand by you

I saw a man in a dream that I had
He was free from my chains
A smile on his face and the warmest embrace that I know
Oh but nothing could touch him
And nothing could lay him low
Cos he's fine as you like
But I still just want him to know

That it's alright now
We'll get through somehow
And the best I can do
Is to promise to you
That I'll stand by, That I'll stand by you
Yeah it's alright now
We'll get through somehow
And the best I can do
Is to promise to you
That I'll stand by, That I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you (Tuesday, Nov. 25th 05:49:42 2003)

Anonymous: You can look but you
Can’t touch
Turn around and walk out

The sign reads
To crawl away would be
Folly; a labour lost, a labour

Addressed to the air
Aesthetic, pathetic
Pinpoint satellite
What was in it? What is here?

The third world in a window
Pin to tower, loss to loss
It still breaks

A labour, a labour lost (Tuesday, Nov. 25th 05:49:50 2003)

Anonymous: Baby I know you feel this sorrow
But you deserve more than this
Make your stand, talk tomorrow
Don’t blow a fatal kiss

Baby when you wake tomorrow
Look up to the sky
It's always gonna be there regardless
And baby so am I
And baby so am I

So know, know, know
Know that you're not alone - No
Baby you're not alone

Feel your roots and circumstance
You're loved beyond all compare
Never mind what will happen
That'll always be there
That'll always be there.

So know, know, know
Know that you're not alone -No
Baby you're not alone (Tuesday, Nov. 25th 05:49:52 2003)

Anonymous: Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning. (Wednesday, Dec. 03 03:14:17 2003)

Jasmine: With the colors of autumn outside--leaves falling off, shriveled, yellowed with specks of green, golden like sunshine coming through the window on a clear day, orange, fiery red, and some claret and brown, scattered here and there on the cement, sidewalks, roadways, lawns and yards--I started thinking...how life changes... That was November and now it is nearing winter.

Jasmine: Floating on this stream of consciousness, floating on my journey homeward...

It is a long journey home... Carry on, will you?

My life is my message. My life is like my own breath, as vast as the heavens and as deep as the sea...

I had a friend and I had You.
Can I go on and let go?
I have let go of this and that,
but I can not let go of You
when You are the very Life of me. (Copyrighted work)

Jasmine: Through good times and bad, carry me on.
Through good times and bad, I still have myself.
There come days like this one when my spirit yearns to be free.
It is inner strength that drives me on,
drives me on.

Like the wind, I am free.
Like the stream, my life flows.
Carry me on, oh carry me on,
through good times and bad. (Copyrighted work)

Nick Scott: Red, white and blue walled moneys are taking on gopher hands, gripping slush pop unicorns. In the round you are me, and I am the pencil with no feet, no seeds. Your outfit fits like excalibur on the TV, with needy cheeks filled with silver ponies.

Is that a tree growing sideways in your attic? Can I spray it with a apple hose? Is that an igloo in you basement? Is that a spaceman climbing inside of it? This isn't one of those "little House on the Prarie" dioramas! You're a salvating silly face! Exclamation, exclamation, exclamation.

Phonies drive blue cars with cheetah legs as stickshifts, blood on their hands, I am a fan. Charlie Brown was a spokesperson for WTTW's blood drive, and was succumbed to my sisterhood of fun. (Submitted: 02.29.04)

GLDN.74: I've spent my year in the wilderness,
and I've fought long and hard for you,
but you pull me in,
then push me away.

I'm tired now,
tired of loving the girl,
tired of wanting more,
tired of fighting for a way forward,

You had the choice, twice to threw it away.

But I'm still here, so follow me back, with the sun in your eyes. (Submitted: 12.26.04)

Anonymous: Nothing has been offered that will make anything clearer, other than this one simple truth. That someone has kicked a great gaping hole in the sky and the universe is pouring relentlessly onto us now. Unstoppable, as is the game. We cannot find each other, can't come back to one whilst this torrent pours over us. Not because we don't want to... we can't help but want to. But we can't see. We can't see a blessed thing. (Submitted: 16 Oct. 05)

Guinevere: Stranger Than Fiction

I miss the feeling of having faith in something
I miss not being able to see the real colour of my heart anymore
because it's black it's black with rage
I know you've seen this all before

You smile that knowing smile at me
the one that says you know who i really am
and i just scream i scream in your face just leave me alone
you mean nothing

But it's only because I'm scared you see
What is real is much much stranger than fiction
It's only because I'm scared you see
I'd rather just cling to this MAYA this LIE this ADDICTION (Submitted: 01 Dec. 05)

DC: Moving up from between the very atoms of the soles of my feet
Within me a force propels me upwards
Sunward, I feel the lick of flames on my skin
I raise high and I can see the mist
Blowing across the face I'm shown
Of a land I used to know

I pull my arms in close to my chest, a lotus
Opening outwards, pushing through the glint of him inside me
And upwards from this modern place to something real
Within my heart a glimpse of Indra, a wink in his glacier eye
And though I may come down tonight
I know that I have seen some light (Submitted: 19 Jan. 06)

Anonymous: Panic, darkness, chaos...
I'm doing stupid things....
and am bound to lose everything I have...
for I'm stupid and crazy...
people laugh at me, tell me off, despise me...
for the stupid things I've done...
I break down in desperation...
while I realize that I've ruined...
it's all my fault...
and there's nothing I can do...
slowly I'm running out of air...
and when I can't breathe anymore...
I wake up.
In horror.
I've lost it all.
but the it strikes me.
It was just a dream.
I turn my head.
And he's still there.
Oh how I love him. (Submitted: 23 Jan. 06)

DC: The sun shines in, without the void of fear
Spinning close to life, in death so very clear
A chance to hope, a force to bring renewal
In summer’s arms, the flight of faith is fuel

The summer’s here, in winter’s evening bloom
Rhythmic, melodic, repentant and consumed
Grasp out at wisdom, pacify the walls
That autumn stained, moss and earth, symbols

Circumnavigate the dusty globe
Bring my lonely sister safely home
Feel her breath against your naked skin
The crime of regret polished slowly in

At night, the sun shines out and distance calls
Revenge, revenge upon this shaking all
A cataclysm pulls my legs from under
And all that once was close is rent asunder

The spring is new, it pulls upon your heart
It tugs you near, then decimates those arts
Of sanctity, sterility and cold;
Return the simple light into your soul

The sun shone in, enclosed the void of fear
Span round with it a while, and slowly cleared
Above the sun, a gleaming message found
‘Renew your hope, and fear no darkness now’ (Submitted: 24 Jan. 2006)

Anonymous: beyond this material life, at the very egde of consciousness and the universe, there is a mirror, but when you look into it, instead of your reflection it shows every face you have ever seen. if the reflection looks like your own face, you have led a happy life. (Submitted: 06 Dec. 2006)

Last Update: 09 Dec. 06--Keep the SOC going!